The smart , the slick and the smugly- Office Rules
The smart , the slick and the smugly.
( Follow these if you want to be a roaring success in your office )
1 – The Boss is always right.
2 – By any chance if the Boss is wrong, you have an option to invoke rule 1.
3 – Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks and promotions.
4 – Ph.D stands for “Pull Him Down”. What’s a well educated person doing in an office anyway. This goes with ‘Indian Crab Mentality’.
5 – The more hard working a person is : the more number of persons hard at work trying to upstage him.
6 – If you are good, you get all the work. If you are really good, you really get out of it.
7 – When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
8 – It doesn’t matter what you do, it only matters what you say you’ve done and what you are going to do.
9 – A pat on the back is only few centimetres from a kick in the butt.
10 – Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
11 – There are four ways of tackling an issue ie ABCD
A – Avoid;
B – By pass;
C – Confuse;
D – DO IT !
12 – If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a darn fool about it.
13 – When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look busy.
14 – To err is human ; to really foul things up you need a computer.
15 – If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done.
16 – Everything can be filed under “Miscellaneous”. Use God’s system of filing ‘Seek and Ye shall find’!
17 – If the facts are against you, agree the law; If the law is against you, argue the facts ; If the facts and the law are against you, YELL LIKE HELL!!
18 – You can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work you are
supposed to be doing.
19 – In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know a job. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.
20 – when all else fails, try the boss’ suggestion.
21 – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
22 – This is for your boss – Never conduct negotiations before 10AM or after 4 PM. Before 10 you appear too anxious and after 4 they think you are desperate.
23 – Decisions
(a) Anyone can make a decision given enough facts.
(b) A good manager can make a decision without enough facts.
(c) A perfect manager can operate in perfect ignorance.
24 – Lastly DON’T LET YOUR SUPERIORS KNOW YOU’RE BETTER THAN THEY ARE!
Posted under Articles from Jobnet Magazine
This post was written by admin on February 18, 2009
