THE YOGI – AT WORK?
Yoga: from the mysterious land of the East: the land of elephants and maharajas (and cows in the middle of busy roads and major commercial complexes).
For us mysterious and inscrutable Orientals, not such a new phenomenon. We have read about it in the western media, heard discourses on it from distinguished western scholars, seen it on such enlightened TV channels like BBC, NBC, ABC, and various other BC’s. After all, yoga has been a part of our lives since B.C. (Before Christ, for the uninitiated. We are now in A.D. 2009 A.D., which is NOT a T.V. channel).
Mr. S.S.B.O.B.T.P.T.B., (total name properly changed to preserve anonymity. The initials stand for scrape and smile, bend over backwards to please the boss), General Manager Marketing of M/s Cutthroat Competition, a leading FMNC, Foreign Multinational Company), into FMCG and various other activities, met me at a party.
He told me that his company had, like a lot of other leading FMNC’s and IFMC’s Indian Foreign Multinational Companies,and even some NGO’s, started a special Yoga orientation for all their employees.
Only executives, of course. One has to maintain the proprieties. According to him, this has increased productivity in the offices of M/s cutthroat Competition, to the extent that they have been able to actually retrench 25% of their staff and restretch the remaining 75%, thus increasing profitability.
Amazing, said I.
Why, he wanted to know, did I not write about the program, so other companies, including minor and small Indian companies, benefit from the concept? After all, it was one of the very progressive ideas that had emerged from the great think tanks of American Management pundits.
What, I told him disdainfully, do you know? Indian companies, employees and employers have been practicing yoga for ages. Since B.C., in fact.
The man insisted. And I was impressed by his sincerity. So, here is a part of the regimen followed by his company (and, I presume, a lot of other FMNC’s,MNC’s NGO’s, et al).
Pranayama
A system of breathing exercises, designed to clear the respiratory system, and control the prana and the vital forces of the body.
Commonly followed by bosses, especially in the marketing department, when talking to subordinates. Especially when sales targets are not met. Involves breathing deeply through either one nostril, both nostrils, or alternate nostrils (especially if boss has a cold), and getting red in the face. Most effective in clearing cobwebs in subordinates’ minds.
Padmasana
The lotus position. You sit cross legged, and contemplate, focusing your eyes on a point approximately 3 feet from the tip of your nose.
A position much practised by our shopkeepers and banias. Also by a majority of our babus in Government offices. Brings a lot of peace and tranquility, and severe cramps below the waist.
Can be used as a means to take frequent tea/coffee breaks, and sick leaves.
Ardhamathsyendraasana
Sit in above position. Stick out right leg. Turn at waist, put right hand behind back, and hold tip of right leg with left hand, focusing your eyes on a point approximately 3 feet from the tip of your nose.
Can be put to use in office by stenos/typists, when the boss wants to get some typing done. He thinks you are busy, and gets someone else to do his work for him. Alternately, can use the maneuvour called the Nelson’s ear. Not yogic, unfortunately. A variation of Nelson’s eye. Nelson was blind in one eye. Stenos can be deaf. To certain sounds. In both ears.
Bhujangasana
Or the cobra pose. Lie face down, place palms on the ground just below the shoulders, bending them at the elbows. If you can do it without bending at the elbows, see a doctor immediately. Raise upper part of body slowly, bending spine backwards.
Spine becomes flexible and elastic. Elasticity comes in very handy in various office situations, like talking to boss for raise, bending over backwards to please boss’s wife/boss, trying to peek at pretty colleague’s legs, etc.
Mayurasana
Squat on the floor. Put arms together, and palms flat on the floor. Raise up body, and stretch out legs, balancing on the palms.
Very useful for clearing up the digestive system. Very useful, if practiced before any office party. Lets you eat more without feeling stuffed.
Yoga, say the pundits (even the Indian pundits), is not just an ancient form of aerobics; it is a philosophy, a way of life, a discipline. (So, says Jane Fonda, is aerobics. But that’s another story).
Posted under Articles from Jobnet Magazine
This post was written by admin on May 28, 2010
