What’s Performance Appraisal, Really?
A keen analyst – Thoroughly confused.
Accepts new job assignments willingly – Never finishes a job.
Active socially - Drinks heavily.
Alert to company developments – An office gossip.
Approaches difficult problems with logic – Finds someone else to do the job.
Average – Not too bright.
Bridge builder – Likes to compromise.
Character above reproach – Still one step ahead of the law.
Charismatic:
No interest in any opinion but his own.
Competent – Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
Conscientious and careful – Scared.
Consults with co-workers often- Indecisive, confused, and clueless.
Consults with supervisor often – Very annoying.
Delegates responsibility effectively – Passes the buck well.
Demonstrates qualities of leadership – Has a loud voice.
Displays excellent intuitive judgment- Knows when to disappear.
Displays great dexterity and agility – Dodges and evades superiors well.
Enjoys job – Needs more to do.
Excels in sustaining concentration but avoids confrontations – Ignores everyone.
Excels in the effective application of skills – Makes a good cup of coffee.
Exceptionally well qualified – Has committed no major blunders to date.
Expresses self well – Can string two sentences together.
Gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike – A coward.
Happy – Paid too much.
Hard worker – Usually does it the hard way.
Identifies major management problems – Complains a lot.
Indifferent to instruction – Knows more than superiors.
Internationally know – Likes to go to conferences and trade shows in Las Vegas.
Is well informed – Knows all office gossip and where all the skeletons are kept.
Inspires the cooperation of others – Gets everyone else to do the work.
Is unusually loyal – Wanted by no-one else.
Judgment is usually sound – Lucky.
Keen sense of humor – Knows lots of dirty jokes.
Keeps informed on business issues – Subscribes to Playboy and National Enquirer.
Listens well – Has no ideas of his own.
Maintains a high degree of participation – Comes to work on time.
Maintains professional attitude – A snob.
Meticulous in attention to detail – A nitpicker.
Mover and shaker – Favors steamroller tactics without regard for other opinions.
Not a desk person – Did not go to college.
Of great value to the organization – Turns in work on time.
Use all available resources – Takes office supplies home for personal use.
Quick thinking – Offers plausible excuses for errors.
Requires work-value attitudinal readjustment – Lazy and hard-headed.
Should go far -Please.
Slightly below average:
Stupid.
Spends extra hours on the job – Miserable home life.
Stern disciplinarian – A real jerk.
Straightforward – Blunt and insensitive.
Strong adherence to principles – Stubborn.
Tactful in dealing with superiors – Knows when to keep mouth shut.
Takes advantage of every opportunity to progress – Buys drinks for superiors.
Takes pride in work – Conceited.
Unlimited potential – Will stick with us until retirement.
Uses resources well – Delegates everything.
Uses time effectively – Clock watcher.
Very creative – Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.
Visionary – Cannot handle paperwork or any project that lasts less than a week.
Well organized – Does too much busywork.
Will go far – Relative of management.
Willing to take calculated risks – Doesn’t mind spending someone else’s money.
Zealous attitude – Opinionated.
Contributed by Madhumita
1ssue 97
Posted under Articles from Jobnet Magazine, Management Resources/ HR
