The swivel chair ? Yes the movies did catch on and we have those pictures about success.

The buttocks are the ultimate definition of job success.

Indians have a strong conviction that the buttocks are the defining criteria for future success.

The youth needs hard seats to develop brains for success. Schools and all other educational institutions agree to its role in future success.

As a mother, I have checked the availability of water coolers, the quality of teachers, the accreditation, the lab facilities, the sports facilities, academic facilities, the toilets, hostels rooms etc- And always the Buttock- Rest offered by an institution.

The hardness of the buttock- rest is directly proportional to the success of a student .

All Indian schools always believed in the Buttocks Theory of Education.

Once upon a time corporal punishment was quite the in thing and one got caned on the buttocks to improve performance.Even if it did not work for some, it did wok for some others- so I am told.

But because of statistical problems( I must explain that the the proliferation of idiots who could not be improved and the save the forest naturalists who wanted to reduce the cutting of wood which went into the cane industry, thereby killing our forest,s which was happening because of the unnatural number of idiots being born in that era) all led to the government banning corporal punishment in schools.

The Educationists and the Politicians did much mud flinging but luckily the Parliament passed it.

To counteract this crisis the government as well as the private education authorities advocated a new educational policy of ‘the hard bum education plan’ to help improve the quality of education.

Finally the true test of success would be the swivel chair with a soft seat. If you feel soft on the bum while working that means you are the boss -you have arrived.

Somehow education is still a primary problem.We must outlive the brochures that lure us to a seat which promises a softer future for the buttocks.Employment just happens to the bastard baby that lands up in your lap.

Unfair but real.

The unemployed job seekers who got the so called best of education are the ones who suffer the most. The quantum of suffering being directly proportional to the fees.And the Bum

But the Butt still hurts

Hey – that calls for some justice- but a cushion would help too

Copyright © 2014, Lima Sehgal
Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine & the Author

Perhaps it is time to address the problem about why education does not include job hunting methodologies.

Why do we allow educational institutions to limit the vision of job hunting to who they can invite to their campus? What about all the rest of their crowd who do not make it at first go in the job hunting season – Those who did not find a job because they do not know how?

Finding jobs through the effective use of placement firms remains a backdoor methodology. When most private sector jobs are processed thru them how can they be relegated to the status of witchdoctors not invited to the doctorate banquet?

Perhaps the first most crucial step is to convey the fact that jobs do not find you because you are the best, but jobs are got because you know how to.

Much like explaining electricity to a caveman, but it has to be done.

Copyright © 2014, Lima Sehgal
Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine & the Author

There was a time when I used to work as a Placement Consultant.

Placement business is a pure people business.

There is more to it than resumes, matchmaking, and getting the ideal job fit for the involved parties.If we look at any placement firm that boasts of surviving over five years then it would qualify as being good at being people friendly.

Let me give you an emotional perspective.

People who are in the people business have to treat people as important. Since we cannot always know who deserves to be called important we stick with presuming all people as being important.

If a man walked into your office in a shabby dhoti and barefoot, looking like a tramp, with a resume, how would you treat him as a potential candidate for placement?

Suppose you could not put a label on him?

What if he was Mr.Ambani junior, how would you treat him? What if he was the rebellious teenage son of your most important client?

There are no rules here. But as a placement consultant, the safest marketing bet is to be nice, without mindsets.

Placement firms that are “Not nice to people” have a very high death rate.

One of my jobs over the years is to constantly find a large number of new placement consultants for including in each new edition of The Jobnet’s Directory of Placement Consultants. And I can vouch for the fact that hostile, suspicious or rude companies do not live long.

People who are in the people business make it a habit to be generally nice and polite to people. After a while it becomes a natural part of one’s personality.

Success in the people business is about how well they handle people to create a network of goodwill. Goodwill cannot be calculated but it is like manure spread on a field, if it rains then who knows which seed will wake where.

Niceness is serious business.

I was 11 years old. My cousin won a medal for some Boys Scout achievement, and my aunt managed to get me a free invitation for the ceremony in Rashtrapati Bhavan in Delhi.

Here I was at a tea party. I wore a sari for the first time in my life (that I could not handle) I was overwhelmed by the atmosphere- A gawky, kid, all alone.

Then a nice man came up to me and asked me if I won any medal. I said “No.”
Then he said “I welcome you to have tea and samosas. I hope you enjoy it”.
That made me most comfortable. I enjoyed the rest of the party.

My Aunt told me later that the nice man was ‘THE President.’

Why do we remember people or feel positive about them? Not because they are great or famous or even important – But because of the way they treat us!

The Placement industry is a fitting example of how the people business should be run. Maybe we should apply it elsewhere too.

Copyright © 2014, Lima Sehgal
Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine & the Author

Earning a livelihood today is not about knowing, guessing the answers or figuring it all out.

The parameters are changing and we are in a brave new world with an awareness that we are not being brave at all.

The Indian Job seeker faces many dilemmas today.

Am I intelligent enough to know what to do?Do I have to swallow poison to prove that I am scientific and practical?In all this crap I am lost and how best not to show it to others?

The list is long…

Perhaps the Indian Job seeker needs to focus less on what to do or not do.

Maybe the solutions lie in understanding that the uncharted seas are not the problem, but the inability to navigate uncharted seas is what the problem is in these alien waters.

But no one else, even the experts know how to.

Hey, we do not have to be good to get, we do not have to be perfect not to lose what we can manage to get!

Livelihoods and jobs are about what we can give, if only we can find someone who we can give it to.

Easier said than done, Job hunting is not about knowing the technology of finding jobs. It is also about figuring out what needs to be figured out and what does not.

But in this entire exercise one needs to realize that the handicap of not knowing how to get jobs is not personal but about hitting the right combination…

Copyright © 2014, Lima Sehgal
Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine & the Author