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Hello Bolo!

This comes under top secret, classified Government secrets – but I can safely tell you that we have no need to really worry about the nuclear bomb. The new weapon of mass destruction is worse – the vernacular.

The fall out is also more deadly.

We had disease, floods and droughts that once killed off our population in vast numbers. Now all we have to do is get p’proper government approved schooling. The advantage here is that you can opt for your vernacular. But the fallout is that it gets your jugular.

Ambiguous?

Try sitting for an interview where the interviewer knows only Tamil, Hindi, and Bengali, while you only know Telugu. Just the same if you knew only Swahilee and your interviewer, only Japanese.

No good for getting a job, is it?

But if you did some wire pulling and got a job in spite of such communication breakdowns at interviews, because you knew the prime minister’s secretary’s mother, then I suppose you would not fall into the category of the jobless, starving masses. If you were lucky, you could even land up with job as a doctor where always the doctor has the upper hand in killing the patient and not vice versa. (Legally you can blame it on the Latin in medical textbooks.)

Well, the History of Lingo is a bloody one!

When the first colonization took place, the British had dinosaurs for neighbors. Like all good neighbors, they were suspicious of each other and the fact that they did not speak each other’s language made things worse. The rumor that the dinosaurs ate humans for lunch was rampant.

So they hired a British multi – linguist spy to check out on the dinosaurs. The spy was told to give a precise report which stated whether the dinosaurs were vegetarians or non- vegetarians.

The spy lived in the dinosaur colony, for a while, observing them and was impressed with their kindness and consideration towards him and their peaceful compatibility with each other.

When the spy returned, he was asked for written report.
Precise – so a military decision could be taken.
Tick the appropriate – Vegetarian or non -vegetarian.

The spy simply wrote – truly Humanitarian.
The next day, the humans exterminated the dinosaurs.

India had British imposed English language while they (the British) ruled, and when we became independent (true Desi colonial rule), we became multilingual. But we have had to develop our own indigenous interface with languages so we can understand each other.

New developments took place.

Like Honking on the roads while driving anywhere, all the time.
The need for translation is not required.

Different states have adapted in their own unique ways to handling multilingualism.

Let me tell you about Delhi as an example. I live here. Perhaps the most unfair accusation the Delhi’ites are subject to is their reputation of being rude. This is simply not true. It implies that the Delhi’ites talk in a language which others can understand.

Soul language is the mother tongue of the Delhi’ite. It can be interpreted, but never interrupted. This is a language where words do not matter, but the emotion counts. It has its own uniqueness … and starts with Maa Ki… Behen Ki… or involves sign language involving thumbs with fingers along with vocals…there is also rich literature involving body parts.

Being the capital it has adapted to encompassing multilingualism on a global scale. You cannot feel lost here, you will always feel at home – like the generation gap with your parents, you do not understand it, but you feel it, it also has an association with home.

India is fast becoming the most favorite tourist destination for Indians. Go to a small, remote town in the interiors of this Asian sub -continent and you will be surprised- not only will you not know where you are, the locals will not be able to tell you too. The road signs will be in strange squiggles which will not match the GPS on your mobile and the sign language will fail to produce food, water, and directions.

No wonder the tourism industry is globally promoting India as the number one destination for adventure tours.

India is probably the only country that has shown great breakthroughs in solving the multilingual crisis. The solution is to go atomic.

Let me explain. The science of communication as we Indians have discovered, can be condensed into an atom – Hello. How you say it be it hello, Helooo or heliwo will convey the sentence, the mood and the meaning.

I learned the art from my Mother in- Law.

Relationships can be condensed into a single hello. She gives give me a cue – and I wish a hello, to my numerous in-laws, in the correct precise way (the pitch and tone precisely matched to the relationship). I do not remember ever having the necessity of adding any syllable to the hello. Or even going a word beyond it.

No linguistic or relationship complications, here.

And I am proud of my linguistic competence of being able to talk to anyone on any subject, in a single monosyllable.

Hello?

No understand? Then you must be – Chinese? Briteesh? Bhusavalese ? Udipese ? Sirsaese? Tejpurese ? Malerkotlese ?

ISSUE 200 Jobnet magazine
Copyright © 2014, Lima Sehgal
Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the Author and publishers of Jobnet magazine

A Molecule of Mediocrity

Lima Sehgal

As Indians we are used to crowds. We tend to become faceless to others as they become faceless to us.

This results in an ambiguity resulting in mediocrity. And – Thodi si mediocrity is more than thodi si compromise for most of us.We lose that essence of pride in what we do.

People in India are used to being part of a crowd- a person without a face.Swallowing the feeling of pride and self respect comes easily. We blame the system.In spite of all the air- conditioning and carpets, we still have to stand in a queue in many places. When our bank employees go on strike and we have no access to our own money we brush it under the carpet,the bureaucrat who says come tomorrow I am busy, we brush it under the carpet, when the school rejects our kids for failing a test, we brush it under the carpet.

We have a huge pile of crap under the carpet.Every time the termite takes a tiny bite, something comes out.But we remain stoic.

All this can work well in certain circumstances like suffering a bad neighborhood or a bad mother- in -law, but when this attitude seeps into business practices we create a handicap.

We become incapable of Empathy.

Empathy has become a dirty word in our circles. The victim-victor cycle completes…And you become what you despise.Like the lady in the government office my father once worked in- “She finishes her lunch -sandwich in full view of the queue in front of her and then spends 55 minutes knitting in full view of the waiting queue till her one hour lunch- break finishes.

Ask her how does she does it and pat comes the answer. ” The queue is eternal.So what do you expect?Do I take my lunch break in the toilet? Or the lawn outside? In the middle of this summer heat wave?

She is actually a very nice lady outside her office.So maybe you can explain why she is what she is in her office.

Copyright © 2014, Lima Sehgal

Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine & the Author

Job hunting Methodologies are a Dubious Cocktail

Lima Sehgal

There are various perceptions about finding jobs.

Those who believe that finding the right job is about formula find that the neighbour who has the greener grass in his backyard is not likely to share the formula with them.

Those who believe that miracles rule successful job hunting also find that the guy next door is better blessed.

Those who see the hand of karma are least stressed. The wait and watch style in job hunting is relaxing as long as it does not become too long.

For most of us job-hunting is a dubious cocktail.

Perhaps what is shared by most job-seekers is the fact that jobs have to be caught and got.

Most of us are armed with lists of where to go and whom to ask which get taken out and dusted free of the cobwebs of the mind, on a need basis. Added to which are a few new things which others are using.

After all, what is the fuss when all one wants is the next best job?

Easier said than done, but jobs, like marriage, is about finding the right match. Unfortunately, finding the right match is not all there is to marriage.

Going beyond methodology implies that one discards tried and tested methodologies, or logical courses, in favor of creating something new. We favor following the herd, then trying to beat it by being the first at getting to greener pastures. Since everyone else has the same idea, we get hurt in the stampede.

Competing for jobs definitely means using a strategy that no one else has.

Copyright © 2014, Lima Sehgal
Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine & the Author 

Perceptions pertaining to the livelihood business is changing in India

Lima Sehgal

Grandma’s Recipe should stay with Grandma! In the light of today, the Indian jobseeker needs new spectacles. And myopia is definitely advisable. Instead of hashing and rehashing analysis, it is time to redefine our rainbows.

Analysis of interview skills, job experience, resume management and educational rehauls and their relationship to the right job or a good salary is incomplete without the ability to comprehend what it would take to survive one’s own future.

But I am not surprised at the Indian jobseeker clutching at straws. Perceptions pertaining to the livelihood business is changing and few straws can float in such a turbulence. Tight skirted secretaries, air conditioned offices, fortune 500 rankings, ISOs, billion dollar sales or even long surviving products with market records now need accurate analysis in relation to oneself.

The laws of gravity have become graver, according to Cartoon network — what goes up must come down, even if one must go up to get it down. But, don’t forget — brain up, laptop down!

ISSUE 164

Copyright © 2011, Jobnet magazine
Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine

New Jobs in the new year

Lima Sehgal

For those who have made a resolution for a new job in the new year, and also for those who are vacillating, we can look forward to putting our newly acquired fangs to test.

The changing scenario in job hunting methodologies have become better defined. Short-cuts don’t exist. Neither do pot-shots. Trial and error is out, and so are the host of blasters. It’s now about a specific methodology calling for your PR and people skills, your self help on job related information and the effective handling of placement consultants.

As the sun rises, we see through the fog, and what emerges is a totally altered landscape. While job websites are shrivelling in utility, the placement agencies are getting more specialised and competent. Companies are showing a more friendly facade and definitely getting more accessible through their websites.

There is a new brand of pollution in the air. Smell it? It is called optimism.

Happy New Year!

ISSUE 164

Copyright © 2011, Jobnet magazine
Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine

For the Indian Job seeker, job hunting is a full time job

Lima Sehgal

Every year is followed by another new year, yet you don’t hear anyone complaining. But the inevitability of a continuous new job change wakes waves of indignant protest.

The problem here is that every time we go about the process of job hunting we rediscover the philosophy of timing. Jobs availability is subject to timing, and the art lies in knowing that there is the possibility that what was available yesterday is not available now.

Enough inspiration for us to opt for the post of the hermit in the Himalayas, but even that may not be vacant.

So we have the two extreme options of either being on the prowl all the time, or of precisely timing the prowl. However organized you may be on job hunting; both methods do not work because sometime between two job hunts you have to work at holding a job too.

Jobseekers do go crazy at the prospect of job hunting being a full time job.

Solutions and answers border on the acrobatics that few can achieve.

Finding what you can get and getting what you can find is what most of us resort to, but we know there are better strategies for job hunting than that one…But what ?

Copyright © 2013, Jobnet Magazine, issue 189

Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine.

Lack of English proficiency remains the most serious handicap for Indian Jobseekers

Article by Lima Sehgal

The fundamental issue is not being addressed.

English.

English is still a universal platform (in spite of misguided political debate), for the job market. Today it is the language of the Internet and that makes it an essential skill for the jobseeker.

 

The fact that our schooling systems are producing people handicapped for competing in the job market by not adhering to higher standards of proficiency in written and spoken English is not bothering anyone.

The jobseeker is bindaas too .The Internet is mastered as mechanically as a textbook. Emails go with spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. But what is really worrisome is that many cannot read and understand what forms they are filling but do so anyway. Mass mailing has become a way of life for those, for whom a whole paragraph on a site resembles a bewildering Shakespearean drama text.

What is sad is that by the time a jobseeker realises the importance of English language proficiency, it becomes too late to go back to kindergarten.

The job market has gone global and no one will come to our backyard with a translator for our local lingo, however much we feel we deserve it. With competition so fierce, it is time that the Indian Jobseekers concentrated on their P’s and Q’s as much as on their www’s…

 

ISSUE 167 Jobnet magazine

 

Copyright © 2011, Jobnet magazine
Republication or dissemination of the contents of this article are expressly prohibited without the written consent of the publishers of Jobnet magazine